When ‘I’ll never put you in a home’ meets real-life caregiving

(Aging Untold) — Caregiving promises are sometimes made during emotional moments. When a loved one says, “I’ll never put you in a home,” or “You can always live with me,” the words may come from love, but health, safety, money and caregiver capacity can change over time. The Aging Untold experts explain why families may feel guilt or pressure later and what to say instead. Why promises can create pressure Families often make promises before they have talked through what caregiving could involve, Amy O’Rourke, an aging expert, said. “They haven’t looked at the reality and talked about the reality at first,” O’Rourke said. “You know, ‘I’ll take care of you.’ But if these certain things happen, we’re going to have to have another conversation.” She said the questions can be practical: Can we afford the care? What if you have care that takes heavy lifting and I can’t do it? A resident’s needs changed O’Rourke shared an example from her own work with a man who had significant memory impairm